Σάββατο 29 Μαρτίου 2014

I like myself better when I'm writing regularly

Me too

and here's why:

-Writing helps me focus with laser-beam precision on what I want out of life

-Writing is a miracle way of achieving my goals and dreams, I dont know exactly how it works, but it does. Work miracles, that is

-Writing helps me stay fertile, this is no shit, the seat of your fertility and the seat of your creativity is one the same, in men and women alike, so keeping one alive and vibrant, helps the other too. makes sense, right?

-Writing is a selfie of the inner workings of my mind , and I just love, love selfies 

-writing is my secret vice since I was a kiddo

-Writing brought to me a great love story (both litterally and figuratively :  http://love-a-story.blogspot.gr/ )

-Writing saved my sanity when I was going through a rough patch a couple of years ago

-My writings are more me than either my looks , my attitude or my circumstances

This is why we write: http://askyourdreamsforideas.blogspot.gr/2012/03/why-we-write.html

and this is how to write a materpiece ( havent nailed that one yet, but hey, I'm on my way!)

Δευτέρα 24 Μαρτίου 2014

A Rich And Beautiful Life

So I was reading this biography of that woman,
can't even remember who she was, probably Virginia Wolf's sister, Vanessa Bell.

The biographer said, she led a 'rich and beautiful life'.

Of course, she was a wealthy polyamorous little bitch, with a number of kids-by different men- and a number of interesting hobbies, that mostly had to do with art and the like, yadda, yadda, yadda. Hence her biographer thought that she led a rich and beautiful life

Reading this  made me ponder and think.

Most people's lives, even lives of people that can be objectively called rich and beautiful, are lives that are anything but rich and beautiful.

Most people's lives, if we are to be fair, can be called 'nice' or 'alright.

 If one is really lucky, they might lead a  'good' life. 

But show me someone who says he or she is living a rich and beautiful life and I'll show you a liar.

For one thing, the person believing this to be the case for their lives, might think so at one moment and then a few days, months or years later, think otherwise.

You see, life is made up of of so many components, so varied and plentiful, that a few of them are bound to be off at any given moment.

Think of heartache, illness, death, deprivation, loneliness, to mention only a few that even the priviledged ones have to deal with , whether they like it or not.

And logic says, a thing is only as good or bad as its components.

You might argue, that well, maybe some parts of life might be good and some parts might be bad and some indifferent, but what matters is the sum of it.

But the thing is, if that is the case, who judges what makes a good or bad life, if even the one living it may not have a clue about its total sum or if they are likely to change their mind about it from time to time?

Is there a universal, non-subjective metric system for measuring a life well-lived? For a rich and beautiful life?

Take Virginia Wolf's sister for example.

Supposing that she did live a rich and beautiful life, as stated in her biography.

 I'm sure there were many moments in her live that felt totally crazy or unhappy ( for one thing because keeping all those different men that fathered her kids happy sounds like hard work to me, not to mention childbirth is in itself being messy and mostly  involving pain and hormones running havoc in your body and emotions).

 I'm almost certain that if anyone told her at certain moments in her life that she was living a rich and beautiful life, she' d laugh a bitter laugh of desbelief, thinking 'if only they knew'.

Same as it is with all of us.
Rich and poor, beautiful and ugly alike.

Our lives are sometimes beautiful and rich, then at others poor and ugly, in every sense of the word.

Can that change?

Nope, it keeps fluctuating.

Too many variables at stake, remember?

Impossible to control them all at any given moment, superhumanly impossible on this plain of existence.

How does this tranaslate into your life?

Here 's how:

It is impossible to live an entirely rich and beautiful life,
but it is very possible and easy to create rich and beautiful moments most of the times.

So I' ll just go and do that.

I'll go create as many beautiful and rich moments as I can.

Forget a rich and beautiful life.

It's the moment right now that counts

Love and hugs

Σάββατο 8 Μαρτίου 2014

The No 1 Secret to make a woman happy and make her crave you like mad


Here's how to make a woman, any woman, happy and immediately like you or even desire you: 

Give women your total, absolute positive attention and you're half way to become a sexually charismatic male.

''But I am giving women my attention'', you're protesting. ''All the time.And it either doesn't work or it backfires.''

No you don't. The attention you, thew average male, are used to giving to women differes from the attention she needs as much as chalk from cheese

Most men simply don’t understand how important positive attention is to a woman, any woman, at any age.
Plus, they either dont do it right, or are easily put off by a woman's attitude and so they fail to give her what she needs most from them.

Let me explain.Women crave for positive attention from men. They crave to be looked at and admiredand oggled at, and appreciated and taken care of, even if they indignantly deny it, even if they believe it is politically incorrent to admit it, even if they rationally try to convince themselves it shouldn't be so.

 It is ingrained in our genes to be noticed, to attract attention of the male.And although women seem to be fighting tooth and nail - especially in the workplace- for their right to be noticed for other positive qualities and not just their femininity, they need this kind of attention more than ever.

Why do women crave for male attention?

It's in our biology. Women are set up to receive a man's energy emotionally, spiritually,mentally and physically. Our bodies and minds and hearts are biologically designed to receive from a male. Procreation-wise, no receiving means no offspring for us. As women we are designed to be filled up with a man's energy and attention regularly .  This is biology, not theory.

''Ok this is really a hard one for me to understand especially since I don't need a lot of attention'', said a male friend of mine when I pointed this out to him.

And he continued: ''I ll be the first to admit that I'm not the most attentive guy. I know that's something I'll have to work on. What I don't understand is why someone would need to have another person's attention so much to be fulfilled in a relationship.''

The answer is in the biological makeup of human nature. For women biologically hooking up with a man means giving birth and afterward nursing and nurturing a tiny dependent being who will need nurturing for the next 18 years.A woman's built-in "radar" therefore is seeking a man who will BE THERE to give love and support to both her and any offspring. She must feel secure enough to have sex with and rely on her man to be supportive during pregnancy and afterward.

 And the gauging system she instinctively uses to make sure she will get that from a man is the quality and quantity of aman's attention she gets.Even in the age of birth control pills and contraceptives this holds true because a woman takes a big chance and risks her health, independence and future on a loving relationshipwith a man. She must make sure he will be there for her.

So what does giving a woman active attention mean?

Women crave male attention because it's a biological and subconscious need. So when you do give it to them, you stand out. You push their buttons in the most pleasant way possible. Actually even bitchiness in women stems from her anger of not getting any or enough of male attention. Behind anger is always fear. Fear of not getting enough of this kind of energy she craves and is biologically designed to receive.

Men are rarely good at providing a woman with this kind of attention. Most men think they are already giving women too much of their attention because the fair sex is always the focus of their minds and stares and jokes or phantasies.

But that is not at all the attention a woman needs or craves. The attention described above is passive and actually directed inwardly, towards men's minds or bodies, towards theworkings of their own inner world. It's passive and self centered. What women need and want is active attention.

If you are a man think about yourself for a moment and many of your guy friends. Most of them probably see a woman they'd like to meet and sit back saying "Wow, she's beautiful, Iwould love to get a piece of that", or "I' d do anything to be with her", or they fantasize about what they'd like to do with her but they rarely ever make a move! 

You see, most men are in awe of women. They desire them, but fear her rejection. So they sit back and hope some woman will come along and fall on their lap so they can then lavish attention on her. Sadly, it rarely, if ever, works this way. So few men will actually be bold enough to approach a woman (especially one they dontn't know), strike up a conversation, and give her the attention she needs.

Lavishing active attention on a woman can give her the feeling she has been "Swept off her feet". 

However, very few men can actually do this , either because of fear of rejection or because they have no clue what kind of attention a woman needs from them.

How can you give a woman positive attention?

Giving active attention to a woman means giving her the feeling that you cherish her.

What does the word "cherish" mean? The opposite of cherish is "to neglect." Some words you may find in the dictionary todefine cherish are: "to hold or treat as dear; to care for tenderly; giving affection, care, or to shelter something; treatingsomething as valuable; to nourish with care; to promote, increase, or strengthen; to foster a hope."

In other words, make her and her needs your focus of your undivided attention, even if it's for a short while at a time.

There is absolutely no bigger turn on that this energetic kind of attention for a woman. It gives her a warm, glowing feeling. It relaxes her. It makes her more receptive, more trusting, more sweet than you could ever imagine possible.

Aim to do exactly that with women. Cherish them. Pay attention to her needs, words, thoughts. Make her see with your words, actions and body language that you actually care for her as a whole and not as separate body parts that are to your liking!

If you teach yourself to do that on a consistent basis, all sorts of positive feedback from women will come pouring your way. They'll just show you how much they appreciate this Which, in turn, will boost your sexual confidence immensely. Which in turn, will boost your sexual charisma immensely.

Try it out for yourself. See if it works miracles or not.You can start by giving your full attention to ALL women. Admire their feminine charm ina tasteful, non-threatening but nevertheless confident and dauntless way.

I don’t care if she’s a gorgeous model or the girl at the supermarket till, your waitress or your soul mate it doesn’t matter, accept all women from all walks of life.

 Do it consistently so that it becomes second nature to you.Once you give women your energy of active attention (which really means cherishing their femininity itself), you will be very surprised how much positive feednack you'll be getting from them and how more sexually confident you'll be getting as a result from this.

Now I can almost hear the objections of some of you: ''If giving a woman active attention makes a man sexually charismatic, how come it's the'bad boy' type of man that always gets chicks swooning over him? Doesn't the opposite holdtrue? Doesnt withholding attention from a woman make her crave more?''

It is true that some people confuse a “bad boy” quality with sexiness, because of the media stereotype and/or some real life experience that seems to point towards that direction.

But you see nothing could be further from the truth.The 'bad boy type ' man is not one that gives no or little attention to women, contrary to evidence of this. In fact, a 'bad boy' is someone who is master at offering to women tons of active attention.Except the attention he is is giving to them is of the negative kind.

Here is what I mean.The 'bad boy' guy usually does those two things: first, he starts off by offering women loads and loads of active attention such as the one described above, until the woman is hooked and addicted to it, then skillfully and artfullywithdraws it, stops giving it to her, until she is left trembling with the shakes for some more of the attention he got her addicted to, begging, demanding or or even humiliating herself to himto get some more.

Then he might give her some more positive or negative active attention-verbal and emotional abuse and the like included to it- and she, addicted and attention-starved as she is, reckons that even negative attention is better than no attention at all so she puts up with it. Until he cunningly withdraws his attention again and the vicious circle starts all over again.

So you see, the bad boy guy is a master manipulator of using a woman's need for active attention for his own twisted benefit. Although some women and especially younger and immature girls tend to date and fall for the bad boys in the beginning, women always prefer a guy who knows how to give a woman
 positive active attention in the long run. Women eventually outgrow the bad boyphase. As fun and addictive bad boys may be with their negative positive attention games and what not, real men who know how to give to a woman the right kind of attention she craves for always finish first.

It is always the nice, sexy guys that capture our hearts in the end. They treat us right and know what kind of attention -and how much!- a woman really needs.The nice guys actually care about a woman's feelings, which is the biggest turn on there is.They are genuinely interested in women.

They are fiancés and husbands material.

 Again, a word of caution:

Women enjoy being the focus of your attention but when you give them too muchattention, this is borderline obsessive or downright ridiculous.Think of attention, compliments, smiles and admiration like FIREWOOD.  A little at a time is perfect, but if you put it all on at once, you’re going to burn the housedown and destroy everything.

When you re giving a woman too much attention constantly, you are communicating that you’re OBSESSED.

Learn to know the difference. BE DISCERNING.

Κυριακή 2 Μαρτίου 2014

I am Not Afraid Of Death

“I came to the Greeks early, and I found answers in them. Greece's great men let all their acts turn on the immortality of the soul. We don't really act as if we believed in the soul's immortality and that's why we are where we are today.” 
― Edith Hamilton

I grew up being totally unafraid of death
because I was used to seeing dead people all the time. 

That's why this text message from a friend 
(from a culture different to mine) in my inbox
 came as a total surprise:

''Just saw that thing about your mom.Sorry that I don't know what to say to you. I'm sure the way that you were raised has some kind of way that you express your feelings.

I thought that I had a pretty good idea of you. Of your beliefs and how you felt about things.I'm so wrong.I'm sorry.Well, I'm happy for your mother. And if you are feeling at a loss then I'm concerned for you.''
This came as a shock to me, because I knew I wasn't afraid of death as I had practically grown up in a culture that is both unafraid of and revering the deceased. Then I realised it was probably a lack of understanding of how our different cultures view death, mourning and the actual grieving process that lead to his believing that I was incosolably and unbecomingly grieving . 
So I had to explain.
You see, I grew up with the open casket practice ,which acrtually dates back to ancient greek practices, but my friend didn't.So he couldn't possibly fathom my culture's expression of grieving.
Here is what the burial process was like in ancient Greece:
1.Prothesis-the display of the body
The body was never left alone as all relatives paid their final tribute to the diseased whose body was on display
2. Funerary Feast- a big spread for everyone
in honor of the diseased and the bigger the spread the more the honor given
3. The Ekphora- the funeral procession 
where the body was carried amidst special hymns and songs  to the burial place
4. The burial or cremation religious ceremony
Greeks usually buried their dead within two days of their death. Αthens however was a major exception: the Athenians normally cremated their dead and placed their ashes in an urn.
5. The Building of the burial tomb
 The above steps match exactly modern Greek burial practices, except the funerary feast is held right after the funeral now.
I grew up totally unafraind of death and I believe this is almost entirely due to the open casket custom.
Eastern Orthodox Church, unlike Catholic and Protestant churches, practices the ancient Greek custom of dispaying the body of the diseased prior to the funeral and keeping the coffin casket open throughout the memorial service (though nowadays in the two biggest Greek cities people have conformed to the non- Orthodox way and neither keep the prothesis of the body part nor the open casket practice).There are of course occasions when the coffin is closed during the funeral: when the deceased was horribly wounded or disfigured by an accident or illness or when the body was not found. 
Τhe open casket practice, apart from being a continuum of ancient Greek practices, is based on religious ground too. For Eastern Orthodox Christians the the body is believed to be an honorable or even holy thing. 

''It is not something which is dishonorable or defiled, or to be hidden away or hastily disposed of. It is not gross or frightrening but rather honored as the housing of the soul. This body, not just the soul, but the body too, which is now about to be dissolved to its elements, on the last day will be raised again to partake in God's glory as the glorified body of Christ did. 
What is more, this body, according to our tradition, is holy for other reasons too. This is the body of a person that wept, suffered, knew hunger or thirst, knew pain , knew mental and physical anguish, suffered in childbirth or in illness, and generally undertook all the hard parts that mean being human and living on this plane of existence. For  this reason it is revered as the body of a departed image of God,  as the body of a true athlete who finally 'made' it.
In a very special way the funeral of the deceased is a presentation of the body as a sacrifice, a coming before the Lord to receive an award of the deceased's contest at the very end of  their earthly struggle.
It is also necessary for the Orthodox funeral rites fully to be performed that the coffin is open. At various points in the service, the body (not the coffin!) is censed by the clergy, because of the beliefs outlined above,  revered as worthy of honor. Towards the end of the service, people come forward to give the deceased a last kiss if they wish. The close relatives usually kiss the forehead or the hand, the rest of the attendees, if they wish, the icon on the chest of the departed while canons chant  “give rest with the saints to the soul of Your servant where there is neither pain, grief, nor sighing but life everlasting.” 

I grew up seeing dead people all the time and because of this  I was neither being grossed out by death nor scared or traumatised by it as so many kids and adults are nowadays.
I attended numerous funerals ever since I was as young as 6 years old, of grandfathers, grandmothers, aunts, uncles, neighbors or friends. I was told their soul went to heaven but their body was left behind like a cloth discarded by someone who is about to have a bath and has no need for it. Viewing that discarded cloth was neither gross nor a big deal. It was like a memento left behind by someone undergoing a big journey ,whose relatives and friends cried tears of sadness because they wouldn't get to see him for a long time,not because they were in dispair for the finality of his or her loss.
Nobody was afraid, kids neither. Nobody was traumatised, no psychologist was called forth to slowly break the horrible news to the younger kids. It was a natural thing, part of life. And as such it became totally demystified and totally accepted.
But in order for this to happen, the grieving process had to happen first. And grieving had a very physical and very hands-on approach to the body of the deceased. 
As someone who attended many funerals in my culture and has seen dead bodies including those of both my parents on display, I can assure you there is nothing horrible, gross or creepy about a dead body within the first 24 hours of its departure. (Which is the time within which a burial has to take place around here anyway. Those who wish to attend from abroad will just drop everything they are doing and take the first plane so as  not to miss it). 
What I often marvelled at was the peaceful, calm expression that has spread over the face of the deceased, which can actually offer great relief and comfort immensely those close to him or her, because they can see with their own eyes that the crossing over was not a horrible thing and that their beloved is now at peace.

Also, I cannot even begin to tell you how much comfort it offers to be able to see, hold, caress or even kiss your beloved friend or relative for one more time before they are lost to you in the physical for ever. A man exists partly in eternity and partly in time. Our souls know that we will get to meet in heaven one day, but our bodies still need the physical comfort of seeing and touching our beloved for one last time, of having a physical 'closure' of sorts, or else we are haunted by the unfinished business syndrome.
So, to sum up, in answer to my friend's text message who felt I was at a loss at my mother's crossing over and grieving too much for his standards?
I firmly believe that death is nothing but the Threshold of Eternal Life,
but I 'm glad I got to grieve and mourn the fact that I'll be still missing the physical presence  of my mother.
In a way her loss will always mean pain at the back of my conscience. But because I was allowed to grieve her departure in the physical too, I can now move on and look forward to our actual meeting one day.

Love and blessings


My angel mother passed away last Tuesday. I am relieved that her passing was peaceful and painless, in a matter of minutes in fact, and that her suffering is over. 


Thank you web friends for all your comforting thoughts, comments and prayers both on my wall and in my inbox, for my mother's passing away. 
They were greatly appreciated and Im deeply grateful for your support.

My mom was one of the feistiest, gutsiest people, men or women, I have ever known. Along with my late father she raised five kids and worked hard two jobsthroughout her life to make sure all her children could have college education and follow their dreams. My father's love for her, which was so obvious in their everyday life -and their great love story I was often told about and which I promise to blog about as soon as I'm up to it- served as a great model and reminder to me of what a woman's worth is and how much she deserves to be loved and cherished, in fact one one of the greatest legacies I was given by my parents. My mum was left a widow in her mid fifties but she wouldn't even consider remarrying, when asked about it she'd say ''I was 19 when I fell for your father, I practically grew up with him, how can anything or anyone match up to that? And why on earth would I wonna be a stanger old man's nurse now -because that's what marriage is gonna be like at our age- when I can live carefree and enjoy the love of my kids and grandkids?''

When my oldest brother was 16 years old he died in a tragic accident. Losing a child is devastating and I have seen so many women go through depression or falling apart-and rightly so- after such a trauma. My mum was two months pregnant to me when she lost her child. I immensely admire her for choosing to go through this pregnancy, despite her horrible loss, despite her being 40 years old, despite working two jobs ( pregnancy leave was unheard of in those days). She gave birth to all five of her kids at home, although most women her age would do so in hospital, thus serving as a great role model for me. My mother was the living and breathing embodiment of 'natural' childbirth and I remember thinking ''If she could do it, so can I'' ( and I did and my only regret is not having a daughter of my own to pass on this unbreakable family tradition that goes back to the begginning of time of natural home births).

I remember how my mum's love was expressed the true way: through acts of caring. She 'd wake up at dawn break every day of her life to prepare the main meal of the family-which is at around 1 to 2 oçlock in the afternoon here, breakfast for all her kids and lunch for me to take to school. She' d work as a janitor for the local department of education in the mornings (which practically meant running up and down the town doing chores back then ) , come home in the afternoon, set the table for her big family to eat, do home chores -because she took pride in a spotless house and because she wouldnt have us spend time on housework, she told us ''ýou kids study for your homework, that's what your job is'' - then off she'd go to work as a cleaning lady of a high school in the evenings and finally go back home at night dead tired, but still set on taking care of us. I grew up thinking she WAS a superwoman ...

Her stamina was only matched by her incredible guts. It was a family joke how she'd beaten up every single one of the boys in her neighboorhood when she was a little girl, how they all all feared and respected her beyond words -and that's saying something, because boys at that time weren't today's sissies! This fearless attitude never ever left her, I remember once when a neighboorhood bully, who used to beat up his wife and kids and terrorise kids around there chased my brother to beat him up for some real or imaginary mischief and my brother was so scared that his nose was bleeding, and how my mum flung herself up in front of this big man, almost double her size, grabbing him by his t-shirt and tearing it in half, looking him up in the eye and telling him in a tone that could freeze your blood: '' I swear to God if you ever touch one hair of any of my kids, I'll cut you up in pieces''. He knew she meant it and immediately backed off and from then on even his own kids and wife would come to our house in times of trouble to hide away.

Yes, my mum could take no bullshit from anyone. She could tell to your face the hard, ugly truth even if it hurt, outspoken but also honest in all her dealings. When her boss, the headmaster of the school, demanded that all cleaning ladies of his school would take turns into cleaning HIS home as well (for no extra money) and the other two colleagues of hers complied, scared of losing their jobs, my mom refused flat out telling him ''go clean your own home'' and not only did she not lose her job for that but she earned her boss's respect as well.

After she retired from work, instead of enjoying her well-earnt rest she used her free time to help raise first my oldest sister's four kids, then all four of my own. She was all a great granny could be , spoiling them to bits, doting on them and being awefully proud of their accomplishments. My kids loved her to distraction and often told me to my face that they prefered her cooking to mine -cant blame them, noone could match up to her standards!-. When I had my private school and spent ten hours a day working there she was practically raising my kids herself, freeing me from most chores so that I could concentrate on expanding my business ( though she was quick to point out that she too used to work for as many hours, but she, unlike me, never ever neglected her home duties, thus keeping me humble, lol.)

She was kept active and social throughout her 83 years of life, especially in churches circles, because she was an active and devoted christian..Proof of all this is that half the town turned up for her memorial service and I swear this is no exaggeration. The church were the service was held was packed , her coffin was swamped with mostly white flowers, her favorite color, and every single person , both people I knew and those I didnt, her friends or just people she simply interacted with on a daily basis, would come up to me and tell me ''she was a wonderfull person, so kind to everyone, you should be very proud of her''. When my brother in law, a priest, read the memorial speech, written by my very talented sister who was too emotional to deliver it herself, many people were in tears and after it the former head of the local education council came up to me and told me ''every single thing said about your mum was true and then some and I would even add more''.

All 17 of her grandkids attended the funeral,the oldest of them, my own son included, coming from all parts of Greece where they have been studying or working- weeping silently during the service as each one of them had too many tokens of her love and adoration to remember,but the most moving sight was watching her youngest grandson,my 6 year oild Achilleas, whom she adored and practically raised herself, refusing to leave her coffin throughout the service, too stricken for words , and then whispering to me towards the end of the ceremony ''mum, can I please, please take grandma's body home? I promise to take good care of it, dressing it up and taking it out for walks every day'', tearing my hurt in two.

My oldest sister and two brothers took care of all the funeral preparations between them, sparing me the pain, as I was the one who broke down real bad and couldnt cope with even receiving people's condolences after the service. They also spared no expense for her, offering not just the customary complimentary coffee and cognac and refreshment to all attendees after the funeral, but also a big spread for 150 people afterwards in her memory. We also made sure that she was buried in the family grave, along with her beloved son and husband.

Today I woke up feeling empty and as lifeless as an empty potato sack. I m glad her four month suffering is over but also devastated at her loss. My youngest son summed it up so beautifully. He said ''yes, yes , I know she's in heaven and that I'll get to meet her one day and that she's still with us, but the point is, she died''...( those were his exact wotds) .

Trully, I agree with this guy,who said that : “But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going in to every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone.”

It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. I feel honored to have been her daughter but also blessed that her passing serves as a reminder to me that my time on this beautiful earth is limited and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. I can think of no greater way to honor her than to live this way.

Let us all live a blessed life
while we still can

Love you all