All the Horrible Things That I do

Dedicated to all  the gossips in my life,with love.

It's ''official''. I'm a horrible,horrible person.

                                       

Here's a list of the horrible things that I do:

    I've turned my back to tradition and my (Greek Orthodox) Church and became a Buddhist.  Also, I've turned into a slut and have been fucking another man behind my husband's back. No,wait,I've been fucking another man and fell in love with him.  Not only that,but he is one of my teachers at my school and a disgusting foreigner, for that matter.  Also, I am about to elope with him and run off into the sunset deserting my four kids and my old life as you know it to be.

   According to the gossips in my town,those are some the horrible things that I do, or I am about to do.  If I am to believe them, I've turned into a Buddhist, a slut, a cheater and an asshole, all in one. 

  Having, all of a sudden, turned into a notorious celebrity and a favourite topic for said gossips, I felt I had to address a post to them (yes, some of those are actually reading my blog), since somehow they seem to be dying for feedback, but they wouldn't dare approach me.  Dear gossips, I wish you had the guts to actually ask me  for a change,instead of pestering my bedridden, sick mother or unsuspecting relatives.  If you did, I'd give you a heartfelt answer, you know.  Oh, well, since you are too much of a bunch of cowards to do so, I'll do it publicly and openly.  I'm sure this is gonna piss you off even more, so enjoy!

   It's true, I have turned my back on organized religion.  In spite of the fact that  I come from a traditionally religious family and even been a Sunday school teacher for a couple of years in my early twenties. I haven't turned Buddhist though  (for one thing because Buddhism is organised religion too, after  all).  Not that I have anything against Buddhism.  I assure you, I see no need to convert myself into any religion.  But I believe I know how this one came about.  Like,there are some of you out there, dear gossips, who follow my blog or are "friends" with me on Facebook and you've been reading my posts about enlightenment and the universal aspect of God for a while.  Obviously, to your ignorant little minds, anybody that believes in that stuff, is bound to be or about to become a  Buddhist.  Dearest haters, if you really need to talk about other people, please do educate yourselves on your subject's ideas and opinions first, or you are going to make a fool of yourselves because of your stupidity.

    On to the next thing now.  Like most people, I do enjoy sex, and I enthusiastically support it as an excellent means of promoting content and happiness.  But I 'm qute positive I haven't suddenly turned into a slut, for one thing because I neither have the time nor the energy to do so (four kids, two dogs, a business and a household to take care of, all on my own, remember?).  Nor have I  fucked anyone else behind my husband's back (these days I rarely see the back or the front of my husband anyway).  Mainly because if I did that, I'd have the decency to admit it -being an arduous supporter of truth and honesty- and then go on with my life.

   And I am definitely not going to run off into the sunset with another man and abandon my four boys or my life here. Not only because I love my kids to death and even if I ever 'eloped' with someone, I 'd take them with me to the ends of the world, but also because everybody knows how I fuckin' love my life as it is and this means I woud never dream of leaving it behind!  Plus, dear gossips, you've been entertaining  and contemplating this or similar scenarios for more than six months now, right?  I mean think about it; if I didn't run away half a year ago when my 'passionate affair' was supposedly at its craziest high, what are the chances of it happening now, after it has become old news already?

   Dearest haters, I do understand where you come from.  Really, I do.  I mean, ours is not a big town, offering ever so few chances of entertainment other than gossip (at least to people as boring and shallow as yourselves).  I also realise it's so beneath you to talk about newcomers-students, rednecks etc. So I know you've had your eye on me for a while.  I can see how I am a prey worthy of your attention: belonging to one of the oldest religious families in town, husband away for the better part of the year doing his tour guide thing, me not only being left alone with four kids but -imagine!- actually coping just fine, and managing successfully a business of my own and conducting my life with dignity and pride and actually getting a kick out of it all!  Really, I understand how all this bugged you infinitely and annoyed the guts out of you, seeing that you had no reason to bitch about anything concerning me for all the 18 years or so that this has been going on.

   So, when my husband decided to do an assholish thing and demand that I should either be subservient to him and his irrational demands or he would leave me and his four kids for good, you, dear haters, found at last the chance you've been looking for to hate and bitch at me to your hearts content.  It didn't even cross your minds to gossip about the person that ACTUALLY left his home, wife and kids and has all the freedom in the world to do as you've been accusing me of doing.  No, of course it didn't cross your minds, because he's a man after all and in your pathetic, prejudiced reality, it's always the woman's fault!  According to your twisted logic it's always the woman who is the irresponsible slut at fault in a separation.  Especially if she happens to be good looking!  Yes, I do understand this is a compliment that you are paying me, ever so grateful for it.  So if a husband decides to hurl unsubstantiated accusations at his wife to cover up for his own inadequacies and his wife decides not to retaliate and remain in dignified silence, of course it is your Christian duty, dear haters, to believe the man and even add on a few more fabrications of your own to his ridiculous claims.

  But guess what, dear gossips: my appeasing bullshit is busted!  I've grown stronger and found my true voice.  I no longer need validation from other people (that's you) nor do I pay any attention to your rantings. Because I'm too busy living my life in my own terms and loving every single minute of it.  Which, sadly, is a thing that you can't say for your own miserable, pathetic lives.  But hey, since I am still a Christian (or a Buddhist, if you like that version better), I might as well do my Christian duty and help you out. Read on, to find out how here:


   ''Don't hate the Player, hate the game.  What that means is, don't hate the people that succeed in this life, hate the life that you don't succeed in.  We call people that hate the Players, Haters.  That is what a gossip is, a Hater.  They're Haters because when ever they talk about someone, they're talking shit.  If they were speaking good stuff then it would just be talking.  So now, since you know my frame of mind, I'll just call gossips what they are, Haters.  They didn't used to be Haters.  No one was born a Hater.  They became Haters.  They are people that used to want good stuff.  They used to dream, hope, plan and work for good stuff.  For whatever reason good stuff didn't happen for them. Now they hate good stuff and the people that have good stuff.

I don't understand the pettiness of your bullshit you fucking Haters.  Don't talk bad about the players, they are the ones that are out and accomplishing things.  Hell, if I was a Hater I would go find what ever Player that would be willing and ask them to mentor my little hating ass, so hopefully I could be a Player one day myself.  That's what we Players do.  We just don't sit down hating.  We appreciate good shit and we talk to each other so we can figure out how we can be bigger successes.''

.

   And here's where Christopher butts in personally, giving his 2 cents on the matter:

  '' I find it funny as hell that Peace (Eirini) needs to do this at all.  All the people that she is talking about here, the gossips (or how I like to call them the Haters) need to be talked to like this.  I mean "God Damn" get a life.  Personally I wish that all the Haters were telling the truth just because that would mean that my buddy would have some peace and fun in her life.  Also I don't understand how the hell I got envolved into all this bullshit.  I am the person that Eirini said all the Haters said, that she was running off into the sunset with.  hahahaa.  I really don't understand why people have chosen me for that responsiblity.  If you look at me, if you see me on the street, I embody every thing that a Greek woman would reject.  I have long hair, I have a beer belly, I don't dress in any kind of fashionable clothing.  Basically what I am saying is, I am everything that a Greek woman says they would HATE.

   Now for my big confession.  I love Eirini.  There you go, you got it out of me, my secret is out.  Here's the reason I love her.  Ever since I moved to Greece I have been happy.  I have had almost everything I needed.  I have a beautiful, wonderful wife, I have a home to keep me warm and food in my belly.  I had ALMOST everything I needed.  The only thing that I was missing was a buddy.  Yeah, I have many people that I chill out with, people that I have a good time with, but a real buddy, NO.  Not untill I met Eirini.  She is the first and only buddy I have here in Greece.  Having a buddy means, you want to hang out with them.  And support them and stand by them because that's exactly what they'd do for you. Here I will quote from my book :

''I know that a lot of you Greeks may not believe this but it is possible for women and men to be friends and no fucking going on. Its true, really really. “Really really?” Really really!


It's possible for men and women to be friends and no fucking going on. If you only count people that are the same sex you are as your friends then you are denying yourself the opportunity to develop a deeper understanding of half of the population.''



As for me, I might as well follow Christopher's advice from his book:


   ''If you are a Player and you have people hating you, don't be disheartened.  Think about it, they are hating you because you have success in your life.  So use these fucking Haters as a gauge of your success.  If you have 10 haters now you need to figure out how to get 15 of those fuckers in a month. That way you can see how you are progressing through the game.''


  So you see,dear gossips and Haters, you've become my gauge for success!  And for that, my friends, I sincerely thank you!  You are forgiven and you have my love and blessings! And may God do the same for both you and me and everyone else on this planet!

   


                                        Love, peace and GET A LIFE, ALREADY blessings!

                                                                          Eirini

P.S  from Christopher:  As before in Eirini's and my last Co.Op. I gave a little farwell of my own.  Here is the one for this post.I don't want to wish love and peace for the fuckin' Haters out there.  I am afraid that if they still have love and peace,then they will also have contentment within their hating of others.  So I wish that they have what little love and peace ripped away from them, that way they will be motivated to become Players and actually deserve to have TRUE love and peace.

                                                                    pictures from here