Κυριακή, 2 Οκτωβρίου 2011

About exposing myself






No bird can fly without opening its wings and no one can love without exposing their heart.
~ Mark Nepo




She (a good and insightful friend) asks me in a private message on Facebook:


''Tell us in one of your posts how you can find it within you to expose yourself and your thoughts and feelings so thoroughly and utterly.What does it take?''

It takes love (and guts,of course).The more I like anyone,the more I want to expose myself to them.The more I love you,the more truthful and honest and authentic I need to be with you.

It's not,oh,it's not easy.It's uncomfortable at best,painful sometimes.Especially if I do not know you well so I can't figure out how my honesty will be met with: with curiosity,with critique,with contempt,with aversion or sarcasm,perhaps?Or maybe you'll stop liking me and start despising me?Or even worse,laugh at me?All reactions are possible,right?

But here's a secret: I've noticed that the more honest and open I am with people,the more miracles pour into my life (and theirs!). 

So I begin by doing my initial probing and prodding.I write a post,I make a comment,I reveal a little to you,playfully,daring you to let me go on.Some can't take it.You can tell they are not ready for honesty and openness by their surprised,shocked  reactions.They either go away as soon as they can or remain silent or switch to another subject or answer my honesty with platitudes, jokes,or,worse still,with lies and half-truths of their own.That's alright,too.I don't mind much,since each one of us is on a different life path to fulfillment.Some even believe my honesty is an open invitation to them to chat me up.And I am not talking about a nice compliment,I am talking about vulgarity and disrespect.Those last ones amuse me big time and of course they are send packing before they even know what hit them.

Others are intrigued,undecided which stance to adopt:do they like this or not?They clearly appreciate it but they are kind of scared;I can tell what they are thinking:''What does she want from me?Why is she like that?Is she trying to get somethin' from me?Is it a trick?Is she really that honest,or is she blatantly lying and exaggerating for some weird reason?And how am I supposed to react to that?''


I don't blame them.From a very early age we've been trained to believe the most socially appropriate way of relating to other people is through ''white lies'',conventions,propriety,social niceties and the like,which is actually plain manipulation and bullshit.We simply haven't been taught how to meet honesty and truthfulness with equal truthfullness and honesty.At best,we believe that such sincerity and openness should be kept for our romantic partners,the love of our lives,a best friend or family.After all,we are safe with that group of people,we are secure in their love.

But here's the thing,my friends:If you save the best of your honesty for just a few select ones,two things are going to happen to you:


- You'll confine and restrict yourself from having meaningful,honest dealings with most of the people in your life.You'll surround yourself with walls that will close in on you in a claustrophobic world of your own making.And you'll deprive yourself of the amazing opportunitiy that life offers to us to make meaningful connections with every human being we get to meet and interact with on this planet.


-You'll get so used to not being truthful that it will become difficult or plain impossible for you to be so even with the ones that you love and crave to be intimate with.Because ultimately the way we are with someone is the way we are with everyone and the way we are with ourselves.


If you start being totally truthful and honest,after the initial shock and bewilderment,people will begin responding in the same way.Bridges of communication will be built and there will be light and love exchanged in most of your dealings with fellow human beings.You'll make more friends,ones that are drawn by your honesty and openness.The people in your life that are still bogged down by deceit and the need to manipulate will start leaving your life en mass and for good.
                      
A huge burden will be lifted off your shoulders.You'll even feel better physically and become more sexy.All the life force and energy that was required of you to keep pretences and ''innocent lies'' at place will be finally freed to be used in more meaningful pursuits,like your dreams and aspirations.You'll even start getting telepathically closer to people. And you'll attract certain people in your life that are on the same honesty wave length.You'll form powerful,meaningful connections with those people as you constantly challenge each other for more honesty and truth.They'll become your best friends or your mentors or your protegees or your soul mates or your spiritual guides.And since the quality of our lives largely depends on the quality of our relationships,your whole life will be transformed.Just because you've raised your honesty levels.

A word of warning here:by honesty I don't mean those two below mentioned things:

a.Being rude or insensitive. Honesty should not be confused with insensitivity.You don't go about offending other people.When I suspect I may offend people,I either shut up and wait for a more suitable opportunity to talk or just keep my thoughts to myself.

b.The too-much-of -a good thing syndrome.Being honest and truthfull is one thing,orverloading people with too much information they couldn't care less about is another.Don't confuse being honest with being a bore,use your discretion.


As Penelope Tunk said in this moving post:

 ''So today, when I have a natural instinct to keep something a secret, I think to myself, “Why? Why don’t I want people to know?” Because if I am living an honest life, and my eyes are open, and I’m trying my hardest to be good and kind, then anything I’m doing is fine to tell people.
That’s why I can write about what I write about on this blog.
And when you think you cannot tell someone something about yourself, ask yourself, “Really, why not?”







                                                       Love,peace and honesty

                                                                  Eirini



                                                      Pictures from here

P.S.:If you'd like to learn more about honesty and openness,go check out Christopher's book in his blog!

1 σχόλιο:

  1. I love it, Eirini!! I was just thinking about how much I admire how outspoken you are, and found myself reading this. While I'm not quite as bold and brave as you, I find myself caring less and less over time what others will think when I share what I think or experience. It is very liberating!!

    Great blog!

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