askyourdreamsforideas: How to never ever lose your job or a customer again

This is the nanny of my youngest kid,Achilleas. Her name is Mrs Suzie and she's the best one I've ever had. She is a nanny only for Achilleas because my older kids,being 10,15 and 17 years old can fend for themselves,so they don't need a nanny. Except they sometimes do,so I guess she's a nanny to all of them. She works every weekday from afternoon until 10.30 at night when I get back from my school. In this picture she's with Achilleas who is wearing a fancy Spiderman costume that she bought for him as a present . He saw it in a shop window and was crazy about it,I wouldn't give in and buy it for him,so she had to go and buy it herself because she loves my son to bits and she spoils him like a real Greek granny would.

She's been Achilleas' nanny since he was a few months old . Now Achilleas,4 and a half, is old enough to attend a nursery school from morning till afternoon and my older kids are old and responsible enough to take care of him in the evenings while I go out to work. But I am still employing her and I will go on doing so,although I have cut down on many other expenses in my household and although I had made redundant some people in my staff and taken on some of their reasponsibilities (economic crisis and all). But Mrs Suzie? No,I just couldn't do without.

She has become indispensable and irreplaceably as an employee and so she's the last person I'll ever fire.Because you just can't fire an indispensable or irreplaceable employee.

Here's how you too can become indispensable and irreplaceable so that you'll never lose a job (if you are an employee) or a customer (if you are an employer) :

1. Be happy and positive all the time What I love about Mrs Suzie is that I'd never seen her in a bad mood! Never! Doesn't she have any problems of her own? You bet! But she looks as happy as a lark when she's around my kid. If you go about thinking that your job stinks, you hate your boss and nothing you do makes a difference,don't be surprised if they oblige to make it come true for you. So, go on,don't even try to be positive, ever. Complain loudly about everything and look for more opportunities to be unhappy. Don't participate in office meetings or brainstorming sessions.Then see how fast you are made redundant the next time they have to let people go.Same goes for your customers.Keep complaining to them and about them ,they'll surely appreciate it and come back again next time they need your services,right?

2 .Don't work fewer hours or take more days off – Mrs Suzie has taken only a week off throughout the four years she's working for me and that's when she was in hospital! But why not take a day or two off? I mean,it's not like you don't deserve it. Of course you deserve it. But that's not the point here. The point is,how to become irreplaceable. And irreplaceable employees don't take days off that often. For one thing because they enjoy their job. And for another because they are aware that they are indispensable,so who is going to fill in for them? If you want to be fired, whatever you do, don't come in early or work late. That would make your boss or co-workers think that you might actually care. As for me, my motto is: if you are the boss and not about to die or give birth,you show up for work . Period.

3.Don't stop contributing after a while– If no one sees you, it's like you aren't there, right? Don't talk about work issues or help brainstorm new ideas. Don't reply to your email and don't make suggestions to your boss. Just try to be invisible. I mean,you do your job, you show up,you do what is expected of you, you go through the motions. What else is there? I'll tell you what else is there. Actually caring and going the extra mile is what makes the difference between crap performance and top performance,whether you are an employee or the boss. My nanny was hired only to look after my youngest son and help with the ironing. But when she's working at my home,she just can't stay still. If Achilleas is napping she'll go about doing housework,sweeping,mopping,washing dishes,folding clothes,cooking something light for the kids,anything that I'd do if I was around! Without my asking her or expecting or even paying her to do so! Why? Because she actually cares. And that makes her irreplaceable.

4. Don't just say no – Here's how to be easily replaceable: If your boss asks you to work on a special assignment, just say no. If your co-workers need help on a project, just tell them that you are too busy. If you aren't involved with any of the important projects, it will be easier for you to be let go after all. Also make sure that you aren't working on anything valuable so that you will be free to go at a moments notice.Don't put in overtime,no matter what. If you own a business or are offering a service,just say no to your customers asking you for something extra,a favour or a small add-on service . I mean,what kind of a sucker would that make you? I'll tell you what that would make you in the hearts and minds of your boss and customers: irreplaceable! I sometimes ask Mrs Suzie to work the extra night when we have arranged parties or special nights at school for the students or on the rare occasions that I might want to do something for myself without the kids (and of course I pay her extra for that).She is almost always happy to oblige .There are even times that she's like ''Hey,Eirini,I hate to see you always staying at home and never having any fun,go out tonight,I'll be taking care of the kids for you''.

A job or a customer is hard to come by these days,global economic meltdown and all .So unless you'd rather live on an unemployment allowance ( that's an option too of course) or you needn't worry about money any more (lucky you!),you should make an effort to become irreplaceable for either your boss or your customers. Give more,get back more.

Or go off and change society so that everything becomes free for everyone and we all get to live happily ever after...