Four years ago,pregnant to my fourth child,upon finding out I was expecting yet another boy,I cried bitter tears. I really wanted a little daughter for a change!I'd had enough with boys.(Yeah,I know,shame on me!).
But according to the theory of parallel realities,in another dimensional world I did give birth to and now have the daughter I've always wanted.So assuming this is true,I can address this letter of wisdom about men to my hypothetical daughter:
Dear daughter of mine in a parallel universe,
1.When it comes to dating and love,guys can be divided into honorable guys or emotionally detached males,jerks,pimps,thugs and players.Most men assume some/all of those roles at least once in their lives.So choose wisely;find your honorable guy,protect your heart from the rest of the clan.
2.Honorable guys are protectors by nature.They will protect your heart,your feelings,sensitivities and occasionally your physical self.
3.You are not a car.If a guy insists he can't be in a committed,monogamous relationship with you unless he test drives your body,feelings and attitude first (to see if you are a good 'fit'),send him packing.
4.It is natural for a guy to love his mum.If a man hates his mum (assuming she's not a serial killer or an abusive lunatic),he has serious emotional issues,needs a shrink and will probably take out said issues on you sooner or later.You are better off without him.
5.On the other hand,being a mommy's boy is not OK.Such a guy is emotionally underdeveloped,send him trotting to the only woman that can stand his quirks: his precious mommy.
6.If you don't know what a misogynist is,look it up on a dictionary.Avoid them like the plague.
7.If a guy promises to call but doesn't,makes dates and breaks them or plays games with your emotions,HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU,DOES NOT REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU,IS NOT INTO YOU AND DOES NOT LOVE YOU.PERIOD.If the man you are dating does one of the above more than once,it should be a deal breaker.
8.Men may be flirting all day long,but before they go to sleep they usually think about the woman they trully care about.
9.If a guy really loves you,he
-is attentive and sensitive to your needs
-tries to make you smile when you are down
-still has time for you,no matter how busy he is with other stuff
-secretly tries to smell your hair when he thinks you don't notice
-is not ashamed to hold your hand in public
-has no problem telling you he loves you
10.When a guy teases you often,most probably he likes you.A lot.
11.Men may pretend to be cool about it,but they secretly hate it when a woman swears in public.
12.When a guy says you are hot,he's looking at your body.When he says you're pretty,he's looking at your face.When he says you're beautiful,he's looking at your heart.
13.Don't trust a man who always expects you to pay when you two go out on a date.
14.Fact of life:very few men can live without porn/masturbation/oral sex.Even/especially when they are in a committed relationship.
15.Size does matter.The size of a man's heart and the size of his love for you.The best lover in the world is the one who loves you the most.
16.Occasional display of vulnerability in men is cool and sweet.Being overly emotional most of the times is not.
17.Real men command respect with their character and actions,not by being physically or emotionally abusive towards their partners.If a man shows any signs of possessing those traits,throw him out of your life before it's too late for your physical and mental well-being.
18.If you are out with a man,he should keep his eyes on your face and off other women's bodies out of respect for you.Don't pretend you are cool about it when you are not.Believe me,he knows it is rude blatantly checking other women in your presence.If he insist doing it,he
a/doesn't give a shit about how you feel
b/considers you just a 'buddy'
c/is in an open/polyamorous relationship with you.
19.Guys get quickly tired of and ditch women who are too insecure and need constant validation fom their man.
20.The majority of men know the difference between lust sex and love sex,even if they pretend otherwise.
21Never allow emotionally embittered women and their hatred of men to influence the way you see the male gender in general.And please,please,don't become one of them.
22.Don't stay in a loveless relationship.It's bad for your soul and your self respect.Plus,if you are not feeling loved,you will start looking...
23.The dismal cycle of breaking up and making up with the same man only has a happy ending in romantic novels.In real life it's a nightmarish emotional rollercoaster;do yourself a favour and get out of it as soon as you can.
24.Don't deceive yourself into believing that your beauty,personality,sexual skills,cooking skills or love can ever,EVER change a man.It is never going to happen.If you don't want a man to be or behave a certain way,leave him alone and find one who actually is the way you want him to be.
25.Nothing in this world can match the happiness of loving and being loved by a man worthy of your love!
photos from here
Love from your mother in another dimension