What stops you from achieving anything

What stops you from achieving anything is a combination of those three things:

Ignorance - Laziness - Despair

    Any and all goals are doomed to fail because of this powerful cocktail of negative traits:

Ignorance - Laziness - Despair

Think of any resolution you or anyone else has ever had.A resolution that you never followed through.

Example:

-You decide it's time to lose some weight.

1.You start with a low-cal diet  (wrong approach-Ignorance )

2.After a while,eating junk food at the end of a tiring day is far more appealing than preparing that healthy meal your diet dictates   (you give in-Laziness)

3.Seeing that this diet thing takes too long,is too inconvenient,requires too much self-discipline,there are no quick-fix results,you become discouraged and quit  (-Despair).

I challenge you to think of anything you've ever failed to achieve.You'll see that at the root of your decision to either quit halfway or to never begin in the first place are those three horrible gremlins that keep sabotaging your success:

Ignorance - Laziness - Despair

OK,so you admit it,it's because you are either ignorant,lazy or you despair all too easily that you get frustrated in your efforts to achieve stuff.

Now what?

Negative traits,like weeds,are too easy to crop up,but way too difficult to weed out,threatening to take over your entire garden.

Here's what helps me:

The reason we ever want anything is because,really,we are far more interested in the emotions we think we will get when we have our wish granted.

Example:you'd like to lose weight to feel more attractive,desirable,strong,in control etc.

You'd love to have that new car to feel wealthy,deserving,competent,affluent etc.

You want a girlfriend to feel loved,attractive,desirable,sexually fulfilled etc

You want a new,better job to feel vocatinally fulfilled,passionate about your work,etc

You want to learn a new hobby to feel accomplished,clever etc

You want more money to be able to buy whatever things or experiences you are dreaming of,which experiences are going to make you feel a certain (desirable) way.

And the list goes on idefinitely.

Suggestion:Go straight for the emotions that you are after when your wish is accomplished.This way manifesting them will not only come about easier and quicker,but you'll also have a great weapon against those three gremlins we were talking about:

Ignorance - Laziness - Despair

Go straight for the emotion instead!

The emotion you are after is your treasure chest,all other material or practical stuff you get along the way are just your map to get there.Don't mistake the map for the treasure.

How to you go for the emotion first?

Simple really.

Tap into another experience or action that is going to get you the emotion you desire

Write down your wish.Then,next to it,write down all positive emotions and feeings you'll get when you accomplish this.Right next to it,write another action/s that you can do right away to give you the same feeling and emotion.

Example:

Goal: Live debt free Why: to feel financially in control,secure,free etcWhat to do to induce the same feelings/emotions: start saving some money now,to feel in control again about your finances.

Of course,actions that produce the desirable emotion differ for each one of us.You can only decide for yourself  the right course of action.

Try it,it works.It's the best way to get rid of 

Ignorance - Laziness - Despair

When your emotions are on the right track,you'll get motivated to acquire all necessary knowledge you need to fullfil your wish.Also,they'll help you not to fall in the depths of discouragement and fire you up to overcome procrastination and laziness.

 And here's a great video workshop with lots of all kinds of practical advice on How to beat Discouragement by Goddess Leonie.

Love,peace and dreams fulfilled

Eirini

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photos from here

Wish list:Mine and how to write yours

Arround this time last year I compiled a bucket list of 1000 (yes,that's right,1000) fun things and experiences I'd love to try, be,or do.It just started out as a list of cool activities for me and my kids to try out that summer.It included fun things like running through a springler and swaping personalities with a friend for a day.But as I kept adding to it,more serious stuff surfaced,like enrolling for a martial arts class,starting a new online business in my spare time,trekking the Inca Trail,living debt-free and moving to a bigger house with a garden.I've copied that list in a nice leather notebook,but pretty much forgot about it once the school year started. 

I am about to change this,though.I've only accomplished  a dozen of wishes on that list in the past year,which,by anyone's standards,is a very slow rate!I mean,I'd like to be able to do stuff while I'm still young enough to enjoy it!So I was thinking of speeding things up a little and keeping you updated about it (it's easier to get more serious about fun if you are going to be accountable to others about it).

Here are a few of the things on my list that have been accomplished so far:

Wish #187:Start a blog

 It's been about four months since I started seriously blogging (posting twice a week).The traffic on  this blog averages about 2000 pages per month,I know I could get better figures if I put my mind to it,but since I am not doing this for monetary reasons (I have another thriving business I am primarily passionate about), for the time being I am just focused on having lots of FUN with it and maybe help and inspire a few people along the way!

Wish #:Write a blog post about my list

Done!In fact,I'll be keeping you posted on this on a weekly basis(the whole accountability thing).

Wish #32:Have two dogs

That was the very first thing on my list that I accomplished by buying our second Cavalier,Lucy,last year.You can read about the story of our two dogs here.

Wish #99:Buy an elliptic stepper fitness machine and train twice a week

Wish #123:Go bowling with kids

                                                 We sure had lots of fun!

Wish #292:Have a foreign penpal

As a teenager,I had 15 Finnish penpals,same age as me.I missed the fun I used to have back then.LOL,I now have much more foreign friends than I could hope for on Facebook.The good part is that quite a few of them are not just names,but actual soul connections I haver meaningful communication with.

Wish #127:Have real long hair with blond highlights

                                            I went from this:

to this,which is a version of me I like more and is closer to the haircolour I used to have as a kid

Wish #224:Leave inspirational notes to strangers

I 've been doing this systematically on Facebook every single day for the past few months

Wish #369:Visit one of my best friends,living in another town,whom I hadn't seen for 15 years

                  We did that last summer.I had my third son Alex with me.



                   We got to explore the town of Trikala,where my friend lives,

                                      

                           stayed in a fine hotel overlooking the central square,

got to meet and have a great time with my friend's awsome family (she has four beautiful daughters)

(son Alex,in the middle,with the three oldest girls)

                       
                       and spent lots of quality time together,just me and my son.
 


                                                  Wish #244:Jump on a trampoline

                                            I tried this a couple of times.

           It was so much fun that if we had more space available,I'd definitely buy one!




                             Wish #396:Write to an author whose work I admire


                                                    Mission accomplished.

I sent an email to express my graditude for his inspirational work,and he turned out to be one of the most kind,encouraging,modest and inspiring people I've had the privilege of meeting online!




                Wish #465:Befriend someone famous on Facebook



I've befriended the one and only Gala Darling.Of course.She's one of my Internet Superheroes.

                           Wishes # 526,#601 and # 571 combined


Last year kids and I spent our summer holidays in Siviri ,a seaside village/resort in Chalkidiki (my husband works as a tour guide abroad and since summertime is peak season for them,we end up vacationing alone most of our summers).



I had found a real bargain of a little house to lease for a fortnight there,a blue jewel of a tiny,two-storey place with a minuscule living room and two bedrooms and an equally minuscule garden.It belonged to a lady who could do with some extra money and so rented her own beach house for a couple of months every summer.I wish I had a photo of it,but I was between cameras at the time.

We 'd spend all day long on that beach bar depicted bellow,which was right across our vacation home

                         and when the sun set,we'd stroll up and down this waterfront

and  then end up eating at a local taverna

When our nanny visited us there for a couple of days I had my wish #526:sneak out in the middle of the night and do something fun!Of course,I could have told the nanny about  my plans and she'd be more than happy to look after the younger kids for me.But that wouldn't be sneaking out,right?So when everyone,kids and nanny alike,was fast asleep downstairs I sneaked out to join an ex student of mine and a couple of  friends,all having summer jobs there.

It was a very beautiful night,a warm breeze was caressing my hair extensions and I felt very pretty in my strapless little black dress (bought at a ridiculously low price at a local shop) walking down that quay.

As I was walking by,someone greeted me.''Aren't you the lady walking that adorable Cavalier dog every morning?''It was Odysseus,the owner of one of the local fish restaurant 'Diamantis'.It turned out that he was a hunting dog connoisseur and had one of the oldest family businesses (since 1938) there.He offered to buy me a beer and discuss the joys and challenges of being an entrepreneur.Since that was my wish #601:Have a stranger buy me a drink (what?of course I've never had a stranger buy me a drink,I married too young and spent my entire '20's changing diapers),I took up on his offer.

After the beer and a very interesting exchange of business experiences,off I went again.There was a fantastic event at one of the local beach bars with fire eaters and jugglers and a band doing their thing,waves crushing at their feet,and as I passed by and mingled with the little crowd,I remember feeling that my sneaking out night had a touch of magic about it!

When I finally joined my friends in another bar I also had wish # 571  fulfilled: Wear a great dress,go out and have men gawp! It's nice making heads turn,I must admit that!My ex-student started teasing me that,since I was spending most of my time looking after either my kids or my business and I hadn't been out for fun for such a long time,I wouldn't even know what drink to order!The bartender,overhearing the conversation,made me one of the best cocktail drinks I had ever seen or tasted (a strawberry thing) and said it was on the house,''for the lady who's having a sneaking-out night''!So I had another stranger buy me a drink that same night!

I'll always remember fondly my ''sneaking out'' night,that's for sure!

                                        Do you have a bucket list of your own?

                                      If yes,tell me about a few of the things on it!



You don't?Why not?Go make one!It's lots of fun quaranteed!It needn't be as long as mine,even a dozen wishes will do!But you'll have to write everything down,just 'having them in your head' won't do!It has been proven that if you write your wishes down,they are far more likely to be fulfilled!So what are you waiting for?Make a list of some reasonable,some unreasonable and some totally crazy wishes!Nobody's either too young or too old to have their dreams come true!

photo from here

Love,peace and wishes fulfilled

Eirini

Get drunk on life

Though I am officially on vacation and my main focus should be on how to squeeze more fun out of each day,I find that I frequently revert to my habitual non-vacational pastime:planning and worrying about future stuff. 

Wait a minute,I don't want that in my vacation,vacations are supposed to be about taking a break from routine or problems!They are supposed to be all about fun,about getting drunk on life!

What does it mean to get drunk on life?

It means being so super excited about what you are experiencing or doing at the moment that you get naturally high.

How do you do that?

You do that by living in the moment.

Just like a child,you are so absorbed in the task at hand,so lost in the beauty of what you are doing at any given moment,that nothing else exists for you.You don't worry about an upcoming appointment with the dentist,you're not anxious about your next playdate,you're not looking forward to the next visit to the playground,you're not holding resentment over yesterday's quarell with your friend.

You are just there.Doing your thing and loving it.

This state transcents all kinds of meditation.Because it's effortless and incredibly fun.And the stuff real happiness is made of.Because whenever you get so absorbed in an experience,your vibration immediately doubles or triples up.Then,as your vibrations goes up,you become a magnet for all good things.On the other hand,when you do not live in the moment and you are constantly thinking or worried about what comes next,your vibration drops insanely fast until it eventually plateaus at a boring neutral state that can give you just enough energy to function in your normal life,just to 'get by'.

Most kids get this living in the moment thing.(Unless they've been seriously abused by adults).The younger the kid,they easier he/she gets it.Most adults on the other hand don't.

Why?

Because kids are really focused on whatever experience they are having at the moment.Most adults are too busy thinking,planning,or worrying about a thousant things all at once.You can't focus on one thing unless you de-focus from everything else first.

Yeah,easily said than done.Years and years,decades even,of not being present in the moment have formed a habit almost impossible to overcome.Try it for yourself for a day or even an hour or two.You'll realise it's not that easy because your mind keeps slipping back to its old routine of either worrying about/looking forward to a future event/obsessing over a past experience.

So what's the solution?

A.Re-learn focusing in the present moment

Begin by commiting to it.Then start asking yourself the same question throughout the day:''Am I in the Now,Future,or Past"?Unless you are meditating and consciously choosing to mentally transport to a timeline different to the one you are experiencing in your physical reality,you should keep your focus on your present moment by getting your mind back on track.Bring yourself back to the present again and again and again by consciously paying attention to where you are mentally at any given moment.If you keep at it,it will eventually become a habit.But you have to mean it and persist.You may even use a visual reminder,ring,bracelet,watch,pen,or even draw a sigh on your hand,or whatever helps you the most to remind yourself to get back to the present.

B.Choose more fun activities in your everyday life

Here's the reason why you formed the habit of not being present in the first place.Maybe it started at school.Being bored to death most of the time there leaves kids with two alternatives:either do other,more fun stuff to keep themselves occupied (but this is very much frowned upon because it is considered as disruptive behaviour),or get lost in a world of their own where there is much more interesting stuff to focus on.Then the same pattern is repeated more or less in all adult life.Because for most adults our lives are filled with boring,repetitive,souless activities,our minds rebel by putting our bodies into autopilot and mentally escaping into the future or past.

 The solution:more fun on a daily basis.Consciously schedule your days to include as much fun as possible.Incorporate fun as an integral part of your routine,like showering or brushing your teeth.When your days are fun-packed you are much more likely to be in the present.Then,as having fun becomes habitual,you'll start being in the present even when performing activities that you previously deemed as boring or uninteresting.Then another miracle happens:everything you do,no matter how trivial ,becomes interesting,even fun1

Get into the habit of enjoying every moment.Whenever you are in the midsts of a fun,playful activity or a happy thought,don't just rush into the next moment.Take your time and soak in the deliciousness of the moment.Rejoice in the fact that you are alive and having this experience or thought.And give thanks for it before you go on to another one.

Here's my plan on how to go about  this:I've compiled a bucket list of fun activities,things or experiences I'd love to try.I frequently have a look and choose one of these to try.Tomorrow I'll post some of the stuff I've accomplished so far.

Try it for yourself!It works!

                                                    this photo from here




                                        Love,peace and living in the moment


                                                            Eirini



                                                

You don't get to choose your life (and birth) lessons

Life sure has a funny,weird,sometimes even sinister sense of humor.

Consider these examples:

-A schoolboy writes what he considers to be his best written assignment ever but gets a failing mark because he is accused of cheating.

-An athlete sets out to break a world record but ends up having an accident and spends the rest of her life on a wheelchair.

-An enthusiastic graduate has a great idea and sets up a business of his own,creating lots of value and expecting to get a fortune out of it,only to declare buncruptcy in the end (this one happened to none other than great blogger and writer Steve Pavlina himself).

-An altruistic young soldier enlists in the army to help his country liberate opressed people and defend freedom and ends up shooting innocent civilians instead,which scars him for the rest of his life.

-A young woman and her partner decide to start a family;two ectopic pregnancies/miscarriages and an hysterectomy later she is told she'll never be able to have children of her own.

And the list goes on indefinitely,comprised of smaller or bigger incidents like this.

I am sure you've had a few examples of your own like the above,involving more or less heartache and pain.No matter how well-intentioned,optimistic,law-of-attraction-litterate,diligent,hard working,well-prepared you were,there were instances in your life when the outcome was completely the opposite of the one you expected,when you failed miserably and spectacularly.And you were left wondering:''WHY?''

And then take me.I've been a natural birth advocate and enthusiast all my life.My mother gave birth to me (and all four of my siblings) at home,long after homebirths became a thing of the past,an outdated and dangerous notion.But she was strong and opinionated.

She was 40 when she found out she was pregnant with her last child (me).What's more,she was devastated because she had lost her oldest son to a fatal accident a couple of months into her pregnancy.Plus,just like my father,she had to work two jobs (janitor in the mornings,cleaning lady in a school in the evenings) to provide college education for the rest of her children.A maternity leave was unheard-of at the time,if she wanted to keep her job she had to keep working until she gave birth.

Grief-stricken and overworked as she was,she still knew she didn't want a medicalised birth.So she sought out an old,retired midwife and had her triumphant,totally intervention-free(despite complications,I was born with cord tightly wrapped around my neck) homebirth.She set the example,ever since I was a kid I knew I wanted to follow in her footsteps.If my mum could do it,why not me?Same genetic pool,after all.

The problem was,when it was time for me to pick up a birth option,that there were no birth options available in my town.You either had a hospital birth or a private clinic birth,both the same variations of a highly medicalised and intervention-ladden event.(Greece has the highest rate of C-sections in the entire Europe).I was scorned and ridiculed beyond belief by both doctors and aqcuaintances for wanting such a radical thing.And I was too young back then to stand my ground.So they coerced me into having my first two children in a private clinic,where at least I fought my way into a natural,drug-free birth both times.Still,the number of routine interventions in those 'natural' births left me disgusted and unhappy with the whole thing.

When I was pregnant with my third,older and wiser myself,I took things into my own hands.Someone told me there were only two wierdos ever to attempt a homebirth in my town in the last thirty or so years,so I immediately sought them out.The first led me to the second who was a woman obstetrician,she had studied in Sweden and had had her own son at home.I (litterally) fell on my knees to make her even consider a homebirth for me.But she finally gave in. 

I had my dream homebirth:I got to spend most of my labour in the bathtub.And I actually had the baby on our couch in our living room,as planned,half seated,half squatting on my husband's lap who supported me from behind.It was a life-changing experience and we all (doctor,midwife,pediatrician and us) celebrated immediately after the birth with some nice spaghetti a la bolognese that hubby prepared.The amount of self-confidence,determination and self reliance I gained from achieving this dream  (and the unwavering support of my husband) practically transformed the insecure me into an entrepreneur with a successful business later on.

Now here comes the best part. 

Pregnant with my fourth I decided I 'd like to learn to trust life, nature and God more,by foregoing any and every prenatal test or care.I confirmed my pregnancy and never set foot in a prenatal clinic or doctor's office again.No tests,no supplements,absolutely nothing.My rationale was,if pregnancy and birth is a totally natural,sexual and normal thing then it should be treated as such.You don't go to the doctor when you are not ill,do you?Then why would you do that in pregnancy which is a state of super-health?(nature will only allow the female body to carry a baby to term when and if everything in said body is in perfect working order).

Somehow that decision of mine freaked out family and friends,even total strangers,big time.The psychological pressure I was subjected to conform with the norm all those nine months would make any brainwashing,secret intelligence technique pale in comparison.They accused me of being ignorant,selfish,irrational,irresposible,out of my mind,downright crazy!I stood my ground.I said to myself this was the time that life was teaching me a big lesson in trust.How arrogant of me to believe I could choose which life lessons to have!Life indeed was about to teach me a lesson,but not the one I expected or wanted.

 A month or so before the actual birth,I received another blow:the doctor that attended my last homebirth refused flat out to grant me a homebirth,she said there were too many risk factors involved this time;the baby was too big,estimated at 4 kilos (8,8 pounds) and in an awkward position,I was well into my thirties.Undaunted,I researched thoroughly into the matter,joined a couple of online forums and decided to go for an unassisted birth this time(you can read about the unassisted birth movement,pretty much founded by the amazing Laura Shanley,here.This was to be the ultimate lesson in trust,letting go and letting God.Or so I thought.

I was well prepared,mentally,emotionally and practically.I had worked with my trust issues.I had the support of other women all over the world from online forums who had done this before many times.I even kept my intention a secret from most,so as not to be affected by their negativity.Then time came for the actual birth.A horrible heatwave hit Greece with desert-like temperature.Due to constant power failures (overuse of air-conditioning systems) there were long chunks of time without electricity or air-conditioning.I had been in labour for an unbelievable 29 hours.As a primigravida (woman who has given birth many times before) I should have had that baby long ago,the process was well tried and tested,d#*n it!Even with my history of prolongued,difficult labours (first one lasted 14 hours) this was taking way too much!

My husband implored me to consider getting some help ''for the sake of our children,if you don't care enough about yourself,please,Eirini,let me call someone''.Worried about the baby's safety and exhausted by the unbelievable heat and constant pain,I gave in and he called my (ex) obstetrician.She was at her beach house,she had to drive back to town like a maniac,thinking she might miss the birth.We checked in with the clinic,the midwife in attendance was laughing over the phone as she was getting instructions fom my doctor:''The doc asked us not to tamper with you in any way,no enemas or shaving whatsoever or you might change your mind and leave!''.

The doctor was worried because although the baby seemed fine there was actually no progress.Another day was dawning and my morale hit the lowest ever.In the midst of all that pain and exhaustion,I had a moment looking within and asking myself:''What am I missing here,do I need to trust more,what am I doing wrong that is affecting my body in such a nasty way?''Then it hit me like a thunderbolt!:''You need another kind of lesson,you need to let go of your obstinence and see both sides of the matter!''

I immediately called for the doctor and asked for an epidural.She was dumpfounded,she knew I was a diehard afficionando of natural childbirth,she was concerned that I might bitterly regret it and blame it on her once this was over.I explained to her that as this was probably my last birth ever,my higher self had somehow decided to give me a totally different experiene.I used to be very critical of those women 'weak' or 'ignorant enough to have medicated births,now it was my turn to experience one.Just as no self-righteous person can understand a sinner unless they sin big time themselves first,just as you cannot understand poverty when you live an affluent life,I had to experience both extremes of a birth to gain a better understanding of it.

So I had my epidural and within minutes I was transformed from a wild animal thrashing about in agony and pain back into a rational human being again.Immediately following this my body relaxed so deeply that dilation progressed rapidly and I was ready to push.What an empowering experience!What a miracle to be able to enjoy and watch the actual birth of your child without the distraction of feeling your body being ripped off from the inside!When the doctor told me that the baby was actually too big and I was too numb from the epidural to be able to push him out without the help of forceps,I told her ''Watch me'' and got my son out in just three big (and pain-free,hurrah!) pushes.

That was my lesson in humility.I thought life wanted to give me a lesson in trust and acted accordingly.But the thing is,you don't get to choose your life lessons yourself,just as a student does not normally get to choose their curriculum.Your higher self and God are in charge of this..

Here's how it goes:

-You get something and there is no need for you to have a particular lesson

-You don't get something that is important and so you need a lesson

-Your higher self decides it's time for you to have that lesson to promote your spiritual growth

-Your higher self arranges for an experience,good or bad,to teach you that lesson

-You get the lesson and so it does not need to be repeated

-You don't get the lesson the first time around and so it needs to be repeated in some other form

Whenever you find yourself in the midst of an unpleasant,problematic,nasty situation or one that doesn't give you the outcome you'd like,pose and ask yourself:"What's the lesson in this?''Chances are,as soon as you get it,you 'll no longer need the nasty experience!

Love,peace and deeper understanding

Eirini

photos from here

How to make that special man/woman in your life feel special

I bet you know how to do that already!

Still,here are a few reminders:

1.Thank him/her for 'choosing' you above all other women/men,for finding you attractive and worthy of his/her love

2.Greet him/her with a big ''I love you'' in the morning and ''I'm glad I've met you''

3.Praise him/her for all the ways he/she finds to serve you.

Thank him/her for his/her kindness and considersation,for being tender/loving/tough/a combination of all those

4.Praise his/her spiritual growth and insights

5.Enjoy and appreciate his/her playful side

6.Tell him/her how you value and appreciate his/her work and carreer(inside and outside the house!).Praise his/her diligence and resoursefulness

7.Edify him/her in front of others,adding to his/her value in their eyes.Drop a word of praise of him/her in every conversation

8.Praise him/her for his/her money skills

9.Thank him/her for being faithful to you.Don't take that for granted!

10.Admire and compliment him/her on his/her physical body and nice attributes

11.Praise him/her for being a great lover and appreciate his/her desire towards you

12.Find something great and unique that you respect about him/her and tell him/her about it

13.Recognise and appreciate his/her creativity and praise his/her creative efforts

14.Listen to him/her attentively without interrupting him/her,ask questions about things he/she enjoys talking about

15.Thank him/her for being forgiving of your faults and shortcomings

16.Praise his/her integrity and honesty

17.Be his/her cheerleader,encouraging him/her to do things he/she aspires to do

18.Praise him/her for being good with his/her children/stepchildren/other people's children/pets

19.Thank him/her for being a presence of calming influence to you

20.Thank him/her for understanding you and wonderfully communicating with you

`

Above all,thank him/her everyday for being himself/herself!

Love is the highest vibration there is in all universes!Feel deep gratitude towards your partner for inspiring this awsome,powerful feeling in you!

And here's a cool meditation technique to pay them back for inspiring all that love in your heart: 

Imagine your soul like a warm,bright sun of love right where your heart is.Imagine you are sending your soul's love in rays,beams or ever widening circles to your beloved.See the nourishing love of your soul touching them,bathing them in a golden or multi'coloured,warm light.Let love from your soul flow to them in an outpour of gratitude and joy.Feel the power of your soul's love as it radiates through you.Let its healing properties bathe your beloved from head to toe.Focus on your soul's joy.Let your joy become theirs.Feel both your heart's sun (love) intensifying in each others presence,nourishing both of you.Keep increasing the intensity of love and joy that flows through you until you can longer stand it.You might even become physically uncomfortable in the location of your heart.Don't worry,it is not going to harm you,it is your heart expandind to accomodate for this unaccustomed amount of love-sending in one sitting.Feel one and in harmony with your loved one.Finish this by sending some of that superflous love back at the various organ of your own body.Seal that love inside your body and feel its healing properties.

Love,peace and more love

Eirini

Photos from here