Being emotionally abused regularly by someone is agonizing.
Here is what emotional abuse feels like:
-Monitors (or tries to monitor) what you're doing all the time
-Yells, swears at you, insults you or calls you names all the time
-Unfairly accuses you of imaginary wrongdoings
-Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
-Tries to stop you from going to work or to your obligations
-Gets angry in a way that is frightening to you, threatening you with physical viloence
-Controls or tries to control how you spend your money, but he will never accept any similar control over his, goes through your things regularly, hacks into your online accounts and mocks you about any interaction you have with other people
-Humiliates you in front of others, especially your kids
-Threatens to hurt you or people or pets you care about
-Says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can'' and ''Ι'll never let you be happy again''
-Decides things for you that you should decide (like what to wear or eat or not eat)
-Tells you they are happy when a relative or pet dies, because you deserve it and more harm will come to you if you don't repent and do as they dictate to you
-Wakes you up in the middle of the night, yelling at you for some real or perceived shortcoming of yours they've just discovered
-Blames you for the emotional abuse you receive from them
The obvious question, of course, is :
"Why are you taking this?"
The answer, apart from the practical reasons, is always one:
This kind of abuse changes you. Over time, the verbal abuse slowly chips away at your self-esteem or even your discerning powers. You fall into a pit of inertia and sluggishness where nothing seems ever possible. It damages your psyche, like bullets against armor. You are slowly groomed and brain washed into believing what they want you to believe in order to continue the abuse: to feel there is no way out.
That is the common ground in all kinds of emotional abuse.
Feeling that there is NO way out
(for a gazillion reasons).
There is a way out
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!
If you are being abused by your partner, you may feel confused, afraid, angry and/or trapped. All of these emotions are normal responses to abuse. You may also blame yourself for what is happening. But no matter what others might say, you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions. Abuse is not caused by stress, anger, or provocation or, as some might allude , by too much love.
It is always a choice to be abusive.
As it is always your choice to leave.
Please ask for help
My name is Eirini
and I am an emotional abuse ( spanning over more than two decades) survivor.
I have been through each and every item on the above emotional abuse list
repeatedly and constantly and relentlessly
but I survived
and found love
and will continue to thrive and love.
And this is me coming out
in the hopes of helping people, especially women, like me