Yesterday I realised I had stopped posting selfies ever since my mum passed away 2 months ago. Frankly I didn't feel like it, but the fact became obvious to me when I saw this friend of mine. She looked frightfully depressed, unkempt, catatonic, clad in mourning black. ''My mum died 5 months ago'', she said, ever since then I'm on pills, depressed etc''. Tried to console her as best I could, but at the same time, I told myself that, hey, dont fall into the same trap, don't let a tragic personal loss rob you of your beauty of heart and looks. Sometimes ( and that doesn't mean I deny the overwhelming power of losing a loved one or how each person differs in emotional strength and resilience) it seems that we need a good excuse to be swamped and overwhelmed. ''It's the economy. It's my boss. It's my partner. It's my allergy. It's my diet. It's my whatever''. Anything bad will do. When in reality, it's just your mind. Too tired to trying to be strong, better use my excuse to feel shitty.
Well, I'm not buying into this. I am happy. Despite waking up every day with a heart ache, because I miss my mum horribly. I know she's at a better place now. Despite suffering from a couple of ailments and discomforts. Despite missing having a business. Despite seeing my love every so often and not as often as I 'd wish.
( distance sucks). Despite living in a country that , well, you know about Greece, no need to elaborate. I'm happy. Happy not in a smug or Polyanna-like way, but happy in a I-count--my-damn-blessings-and -gosh-I -am so-lucky-to-be- me way.
So , instead of wearing black for a year as is the custom in the country where I live after losing a close relative or having a nervous breakdown like my friend did, here's how I chose to honor my mum's memory;
By getting back to my old, cheerful me, by looking my best every day, because that helps me feel my best, by working out towards a rock-hard fit body, by taking care of the gorgeous daughter my mum so loved, by spreading laughter and light and joy.
God bless you, webworld! Here's to more selfies to come!