Τρίτη, 19 Νοεμβρίου 2013

9 things you probably dont know about me




9 things you probably dont know about me:

1. When I was one years old I almost died of dehydration. I was so ill that I had to be transfered to hospital where they practically hooked me to an IV and forgot all about me. Since I was exclusively breastfed, with the odd solid food now and then I stubbornly refused any and all kinds of nourishment in hospital and was practically starving myself to death. Then one day my mom got sick and tired of hospital shit, she very angrily declared that she was taking me and let her see anyone try to stop her. So she took me home and nursed me back to life. Hence my irrational fear of hospitals and doctors.

2. 
 I taught myself to read and write when I was three just by watching my older brothers and sister do their homework, was considered a child prodigy by my family and started reading Dostoyievsky when I was 5. Didnt understand much about social context in said books, but it gave me a morbid taste for romanticizing poverty and squallor.

3. My most valuable possession is a book with various texts from ancient greek writers printed in 1876 that belonged to my greatgrondmother who was a teacher at a girls' school . I had to fight for said book with my oldest brother who was also claiming it as his. I won because my argument was stronger: our great grandma would have liked her book to be in the possession of a female teacher great-granddaughter, after all.

4. When I was 19 I had a love poem handwritten for me in Latin,with my name included in the verses, in perfect metric after the fashion of a latin lyric poem. The German boy who dedicated it to me predicted that one day I'd marry the love of my life and have four kids( I did). I had lost contact with him for 20 years until one night I astral travelled to the university he is now teaching, wondered why I was taken there when I woke up, then searched for his name in the list of teaching stuff, and lo! behold, I found my teenage crash again, as an esteemed professor in Mainz, Germany.

5. I own a little Roman coin dating back from the 3rd century BC, found in former Yougoslavia ,now Serbia depicting an emperor or something called Gratianus given to me as a present by an illicite trader of antiquities. I have every reason to believe it's genuine, it probably costs a small fortune and it is probably illegal owning it. But I will never part with it even if I ended up homeless in the streets.

6.I can throw up by just looking at someone chewing bubble gum or by touching a balloon. Baloons and bubble gums are my pet loathing.

7. Was mercilessly and rellentlessly bullied for being a precoscious child in elementary school and for wearing a full-body brace for treating scoliosis in high school. Bullying would sometimes get so worse that I would throw my guts out before going to school and had the shakes while walking there every morning.

8. My favorite pastime as a child was saving puppies and kittens from the streets, hiding them in old abandoned houses and stealing food from our kitchen to feed them. I was beaten several times by mom for this

9. If I had three outrageous wishes in the world granted to me, I'd choose a/ to stay fertile for as long as I live naturally, without the heany artificial hormones, b/travel in alternative universes at will c/have a little daughter of my own

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