Feeling good, no matter what

Feeling good, no matter what, is an extreme act of courage because we are all under a lot of pressure to feel bad. 

Society expects you to get upset about war, terrorism, crime, poverty, scandal, global warming, politics, taxes, all the shitty stuff that goes wrong around us. In most cultures, feeling bad about bad things is a virtue. It means you are in solidarity with everyone else. You fit in. You watch the news, read the paper, and rehash all that negative (resistant) energy with your friends and family. It gives you something to talk about.

Whereas if you feel good? You stand out. 
You might attract envy. ''What is she so happy about?'' or raised eyebrows ''she's naive and stupid, cant she see what's going on around her?''

Happiness is a lifelong habit, folks.
After some time, it gets easier. But it still reqwuires consciouas effort.
Every single day. 
You have to wake up and shift your mood carefully and deliberatelly.
Because the natural tendency of us humans is to feel like shit it's like a weed. It grows of itas own, whereas happiness and positivity hjas to be cultivated..
It's easier too. Feeling like crap gives you the best excuse to stay in inaction mode.

But you know what?
One of the fastest roads to old age, bitterness and being a grampy old man or woman, is feeloing bad.

Think about it. Each time you think a grumpy thought, you grow old faster, physically and mentally. Your positive thoughts on the other hand is a mental workout that keeps you mentally and emotionally fit and young

Choice is yours

9 things you probably dont know about me

9 things you probably dont know about me:

1. When I was one years old I almost died of dehydration. I was so ill that I had to be transfered to hospital where they practically hooked me to an IV and forgot all about me. Since I was exclusively breastfed, with the odd solid food now and then I stubbornly refused any and all kinds of nourishment in hospital and was practically starving myself to death. Then one day my mom got sick and tired of hospital shit, she very angrily declared that she was taking me and let her see anyone try to stop her. So she took me home and nursed me back to life. Hence my irrational fear of hospitals and doctors.

2.  I taught myself to read and write when I was three just by watching my older brothers and sister do their homework, was considered a child prodigy by my family and started reading Dostoyievsky when I was 5. Didnt understand much about social context in said books, but it gave me a morbid taste for romanticizing poverty and squallor.

3. My most valuable possession is a book with various texts from ancient greek writers printed in 1876 that belonged to my greatgrondmother who was a teacher at a girls' school . I had to fight for said book with my oldest brother who was also claiming it as his. I won because my argument was stronger: our great grandma would have liked her book to be in the possession of a female teacher great-granddaughter, after all.

4. When I was 19 I had a love poem handwritten for me in Latin,with my name included in the verses, in perfect metric after the fashion of a latin lyric poem. The German boy who dedicated it to me predicted that one day I'd marry the love of my life and have four kids( I did). I had lost contact with him for 20 years until one night I astral travelled to the university he is now teaching, wondered why I was taken there when I woke up, then searched for his name in the list of teaching stuff, and lo! behold, I found my teenage crash again, as an esteemed professor in Mainz, Germany.

5. I own a little Roman coin dating back from the 3rd century BC, found in former Yougoslavia ,now Serbia depicting an emperor or something called Gratianus given to me as a present by an illicite trader of antiquities. I have every reason to believe it's genuine, it probably costs a small fortune and it is probably illegal owning it. But I will never part with it even if I ended up homeless in the streets.

6.I can throw up by just looking at someone chewing bubble gum or by touching a balloon. Baloons and bubble gums are my pet loathing.

7. Was mercilessly and rellentlessly bullied for being a precoscious child in elementary school and for wearing a full-body brace for treating scoliosis in high school. Bullying would sometimes get so worse that I would throw my guts out before going to school and had the shakes while walking there every morning.

8. My favorite pastime as a child was saving puppies and kittens from the streets, hiding them in old abandoned houses and stealing food from our kitchen to feed them. I was beaten several times by mom for this

9. If I had three outrageous wishes in the world granted to me, I'd choose a/ to stay fertile for as long as I live naturally, without the heany artificial hormones, b/travel in alternative universes at will c/have a little daughter of my own

How to be always happy no matter what

• Someone from abroad texted me today:

  ''You doing well despite the economic turmoil'' ?
• My answer:
  
  
  ''Αmazingly well. Because my wealth resides all in my heart and mind and soul and so I am almost always full of joy''.
  
  
  I wasn't kidding. 
  Or putting up a brave face or pretending that everything is ok, pasting a fake smile all over my face to hide away my pain, anxiety or troubles.
  
  
  I am faring amazingly well in this horrible economic crisis sweeping through my country.
  
  
  Not because I belong to those lucky few that are so financially secure that they needn't worry about money.
  
  
  Not because I am so naive or uninformed that I have no idea what is going on around me or how poverty and despair is turning my nation into havoc.
  
  
  Nor am I being reliant on anyone else to secure my financial future.
  
  
  Yes, you could safely say that when it comes to finances or the future , I'm as much in the shit as anyone else in my country.
  
  
  ''Then how come you say you're fine?''.
  
  
  I am not just fine, my friend.
  
  
  I AM HAPPY AND THRIVING.
  In fact sometimes I 'm so overwhelmed with joy that I feel like dancing or singing (which I frequently do, see photo above taken in my elevator for evidence).
  
  
  • Because my wealth resides all in my heart and mind and soul and so I am almost always full of joy

    
    

    Being happy is a habit of mine.

    A decades long habit.

    And like all habits, it continues automatically now, no matter what goes on in my life.

    
    

    But it took tremendous effort and time on my part to be cultivated and it still does require conscious effort to be maintained.

    
    

    It's like a mental workout.

    If you could see my positivity and joy 'muscles', the ones in my heart and brain, you'd probably notice a positivity six pack and buttocks of joy made of steel, so to speak.

    My aura of bliss is usually so strong that is noticeable not just by friends and acquaintances, but also by those who don't even know me and just come in contact with me, people in the street or even contacs in social media. 

    
    

    They notice and frequently comment of it:

    ''How come you're always so happy?''

    
    

    Some are intrigued and surprised.They wonna know what amazingly good things are going on in my life, my source of happiness and joy.

    
    

    Most of them though are annoyed

    ( you wouldn't even believe how much it pisses people off to see you happy in an atmosphere of mental gloom and unhappiness, it's almost you give them a blow of offence, like ''how dare she be happy when everyone else feels like shit?'').

    Of course, same goes for positivity as it does for a gorgeous body. When we see someone with a gorgeous body, most people's instinctual reaction is either envy or admiration. 

    
    

    But very few stop to think for a moment the sheer hard effort this kind of gorgeous body requires. 

    They attribute it to luck, good genes, good metabolism, whatever. But the truth of the matter is, it's just pure hard work.

    
    

    Same with positivity muscles.

    Yes, I can tap into my happy mood almost whenever I wish. It's like I'm turning on a switch, that easy. 

    
    

    A friend once gave me some weed to smoke-I told him I've never tried any- and its effect on me was minimal. I told him''I dont need any fucking mind altering drugs or herbs or booze to help me get into my happy, I can do that automatically whenever I wish''.

    
    

    I realise of course that I am blessed,because I do possess a priceless gift.

    But like I said before, It is a gift that has been and is still consciously cultivated every single day of my life.

    
    

    Just like a mental workout, it takes discipline and perseverence on my part to be maintained.

    You see, I wake up every day, almost every single day of my life, and my first thought is ''Shit, another day...'' same as anybody else.

    
    

    Every morning, the same old struggles:

    -My body aches from scoliosis and middle age aches and pains and from having to sleep on the couch every single night because my bedroom is occupied. 

    And signs of aging in my mirror aren't helping with boosting my morning mood, either.

    -My 6 year old throws frequent tantrums before during and after going to school.

    -My home is usually in a frightful mess because of all those boys of various ages occupying it.

    -My long overdue bills and insane taxes-upon-extra-taxes pile up yet a bit higher every morning

    -My mum seems every day yet a bit more forgetful, more tearful and more needy in her old age and house confinement and more dependent on us for help

    -My ongoing legal battle with banks and morgages-four of them, to be precise- is a constant reminder of what might happen if said battles are lost and we all end up on the streets

    -My two dogs are, through no fault of mine, exiled in a village miles away from where I live and they need to be visited and fed and taken care of, not to mention for the drives that need to be arranged for me to arrive there.

    -Students that are in need of my teaching services seem to becoming scarcer and even more demanding every week, asking much more for a much lesser prize.

    -Assholes in my life seem to be multyplying with an alarming frequency, their crazy demands of me and my time also mutliplying in directly proportion.

    
    

    And so, so much more that cannot be said or even insinuated here or else I'm in deep trouble.

    Enough to give me my fair doses of misery of everyday.

    Except they dont.

    Because my happiness resides all in my heart and mind and soul and so I am almost always full of joy
  Why am I telling you all this?
  About my being happy and joyous in the face of trouble and difficulties
  
  
  To brag?
  Or convinced you of my 'better than Thou' attitude?
  Actually ,no.
  (or maybe just a little....)
  
  
  I'm doing this to show you by example that it's totally achievable and feasable to be happy, blissful even, in the face of all sorts of troubles and difficulties.
  It's like a mental workout.
  
  
  And in my next post I'll be showing you a dead easy way to turn positivity and joy into a life-long habit.
  
  

Your greatest Wish, Your Deepest Fear

Your greatest wish is always your deepest fear.

Always.

Look inside and you'll see it's true.

 What you've always wanted for you,
is what scares you shitless.

Because...because...
 Because maybe  what if you're inadequate?
What if you're gonna hate it once you have it?
What if it's not for you, after all?
What if others will hate you for it?
What if you'll lose and hate yourself because of it?
What if?
What if.....

The list goes on for ever

I read it somewhere, 
about our greatest wish being our deepest fear
and pondered about it.

Damn, it's true.

What I want the most in this life, 
scares me numb.
All sorts of worst case scenarios
inundate my mind.
And then, the inevitable conclusion:
''maybe I'm better off without it''.

No, you aren't.
Better off without it.

Fear is your fetters of choice.
Keeping you chained.
Safe. A safe slave.
Chained to your safe misery, or your safe mediocrity.

You wonna live forever like this?
Fine. Live like this.
But dont blame your wish unfulfilled.
Blame your fear.

Unchain that beast.
Your fear and your wish go hand in hand.
Let them loose.
Let them howl.

Then see what happens

Your life won't be easy.
But it will be worth living.