Don't get me wrong.
I love, admire and aspire to have 'the perfect body' .
Even those who claim they dont want that,
The above pic was taken two and a half years ago,
when I was in peak physical condition
after seven months of intensive dieting and
daily one-and-a-half hour workouts.
You know, the whole package
Flat belly, cute behind, (almost) cellulite-free thighs
shapely legs and arms, shoulders proudly thrown back,
for that awesome good posture look.
Loved that body and that disciplined me
(while it lasted).
Today, my body leaves a lot to be desired.
You see, the body in the above picture,
requires an insane amount of maintenance.
Lots and lots of exercising, both cardio and free weights.
Lots and lots of sleep, at least 9 hours a day,
to recover from such strenuous exercise,
or else I was dead tired all day long and looked old and haggard.
Drinking galons of water and frequently running to the toilet.
And dieting, gosh, the dieting...
no sweets, minimum carbs, minuscule food portions
and being almost always hungry:
hungry when you wake up,
hungry when exercising,
hungry after you finish your meals,
going to bed hungry,
sometimes waking up from hunger pangs in the middle of the night.
Back then I was happy, healthy, fit, hungry ,and awesome-looking.
Right now I am happy, healthy, not so fit, not at all hungry and still decently fine looking.
Surely, you can see my dilemma?
Happiness is a constant with me, so that never changes anyway.
As it is, I have to choose between going hungry and looking awesome
or enjoying my food and looking less than awesome, but still decently good.
Who in their right mind would choose the first option, when the second one is there?
As I am at the threshold of my 44th year,
I am pondering on life's questions concerning body image.
Do I starve myself and sweat half the day to look awsome?
Can I do it? Yes, of course, been there, done that, several times in my life, especially after giving birth to each of my 4 kids.
Is it fun? Yes, lots ( love me a good challenge)
Is it worth it?
Depends on what I'm prepared to lose for it.
(food, sweets, sleep, time)
Can I afford time, sweat and sleep to achieve this kind or rock-hard body,without going insane?
Only if I won the lottery ticket and needn't worry about working for money any more.
Does that mean I'm giving up entirely on fitness and healthy eating?
Of couse not. I exercise daily and remind myself to make healthier food options daily.
Will I ever do that whole perfect body thing?
Most likely, yeah.
(probably when I win the lottery ticket and/or marry again and need to look perfect for those wedding pictures ;) )
Most likely, not in the near future though.
As a final note, here's some insight from my love on the matter:
''It is an uphill struggle for you trying to 'lose weight' right now.You are at a stage in your life that you've switched to 'pleasure' and 'gaining' mode, so trying to 'lose' anything, even if it is weight, doesnt agree with you''
Maybe he's right.
I am totally attuned to allowing and receiving at the moment.
But I'm still hoping for that lottery ticket thing anyway!